Reading back through, seeing some of the things I said I’d do. Well hell, I did most of the crap I was planning on. I put myself through a year of prerequisites for the sewing program in Seattle, while working 40-50 hours as a waitress. I also got that stupid substitute thing, and discovered I truly am awful at subbing. I lived with a man I cared about while doing all of that. I think it’s incredibly difficult for me to remember all of that now though. Because it became a dead end. Maybe it’s making me cooler than you and your grandma though, but if you and your grandma come into a place where I’ll be waiting on you, it’s true, you’ll pretty much own me. I guess I have to work on keeping the heart pure, I just want to dunk it in red wine and Clorox, wash my windows with it, mark my doors with it. The first born is dead, he said.


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